Biography
The name of Saatanan Marionetit was like born sometime in 2003 (or might have been 2004, who can remember all these fucking numbers?) when Jui Satan and Hizki the Satanic Dominator were talking about how fucking cool it would be to like play music. They selected bass guitar and drums as their instruments, because, you know, the bass is like the easiest instrument to play, and you can play drums sitting down, so it's more difficult to fall even if you are really fuckin out of it. So it's not anything like you couldn't drink and do drugs while playing our really cool music.
The actual band was born, independently from the name, around July 2004 or something, when we were fucking wasted on too much blood and tears of Satan. We tried injecting B thru our fucking ears to the brain, to get like fucking really fuck'd, and were generally being really true and cool.
Nobody can really remember when we decided to use the name we now proudly carry, or pretty much anything else for that matter, but who fucking cares? Meanwhile, Hizki the Satanic Dominator faded somewhere into the background, swallowed by the eternal darkness surrounding this dark spawning. After that we got like guitars and stuff, and just got so incredibly professional. You wouldn't fucking believe how professional we really are. We actually got so freakin' professional that we threw up the Dark Forest EP in december 2004.
Anyway, that's how it all started.
Then, totally out of the fucking blue, it all continued somehow with the power of drugs and cheap beer. Naturally we continued to be really deeply artistic and professional and shit like that. On one night of drunken stupor in 2005 we suddenly noticed that some guy named Wry Satan and his Mighty Arms of Destruction had joined our bacchanal, and so we got a drummer to replace the doomsday machine that had served as our percussion factory until then.
Only a really short time later like, some dozens of bottles of booze later, the new incarnation of Saatanan Marionetit was stepping up in being even more professional. By the end of the year we were blessed by the Shrouded Masters of The Hell and were able to move to the Dungeon studio and rehearsal space to work our dark arts. Around that time the original singer, Yo Satan, was dumped from the line-up because of "artistic differences and lack of commitment to the band". This of course lead us to look for a new singer who was Most Satanick by birthright and could hold his liquor, and of course would be really professional like the rest of us. And we found him. In the dark gloom of the dusk of the year, Aargh Satan joined the ranks of Saatanan Marionetit and became instantly insanely professional (and drunk).
By the end of the year 2005 we'd had some really weird things going on, with the myriad rumors surrounding the band regarding the identity of the new singer to take Yo Satan's former place in the band, the occasional poltergeist throwing our stuff around in the freshly blood-baptized Dungeon, some minor legal incidents with jealous web community admins and the worst of all, devoted Saatanan Marionetit fans battling happiness!. "All in all, I can't really remember much of that year because I was so fucking wasted all the time, so fuck off." comments Jui Satan.
The year 2006 brought the band more gigs (in epic spectacles like "The Satanick Memorial Of The Fallen" and "Post Summer Ressurrection"), multiple upgrades in the equipment of the Dungeon, a promo-release It Came From Beyond The Star Number 6 6 6 and lots of other shit. On the downside, we still blame the thrice-damned biblical "god" for the loss of the legendary Hevirama Studios where Saatanan Marionetit was originally spawned. Then by the end of the year 2007, after too many empty pill and booze bottles for anyone to remember, the EP Satan Take Me Home was released. Or it might have been during spring 2008. Or sometime before or after that. Numbers and dates are for dumb people.
But the band heard the calling from deep below the lands of men. As Wry Satan so professionally puts it: "Inspired by the fact that we had an excuse to celebrate Satan and to thank him for the EP we started wondering if we could whip up our own Satanick Festival." Thus, the Satanick Seas of Sorrow festival was born. Somewhere at this point of our history we noticed that one of our most loyal Satanettes, Star Satan, had moved from just hanging around on our gigs to operate the mixer and has since been sentenced to that post for all eternity.
The band was touring Finland with the vigor only a group who is driven by alcohol and Satan can, when during the summer 2008 Long John Satan announced his departure from the band for his own reasons. This caused a break on the on the regular activities of the band, but the guitarrist's spot was luckily filled by Raato Satan only after a few months. This down-time gave the band room for working on new material and the rumors concerning a new EP or full album release started circling the band once again. Somewhere at this point a light technician had tagged along, but to this day this shadowy character has eluded identification.
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